life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just invented taco cereal.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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