woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
