If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize