you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
