I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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