i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
