Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
COCAINE IS GR8
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
