That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
