Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
