Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize