if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
