It's like God shit irony all over that family
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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