So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
