I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize