And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
