I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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