Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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