i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
