yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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