And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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