I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
