Is it because I queefed?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm sobbing to NWA
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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