I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
