K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
