Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Randomize
