you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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