And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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