Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
