Screwed.edu
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
