i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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