It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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