I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
