You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
