A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
