sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
