i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
