I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
