It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
are you so shy because you have an std?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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