i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
