so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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