my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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