i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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