so let's talk penis.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
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Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
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I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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