Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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