hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize
