I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
