i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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