Apparently you make a good broom.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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