I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
