yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
