shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
