That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
