bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
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