There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
