So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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