omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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