Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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