I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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