so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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