Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
