ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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