Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
