spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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