Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize