I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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