so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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