too bad you live with your parents still
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize