the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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